JANELLE MARINA PHOTOGRAPHY | WEDDING AND FAMILY PHOTOGRAPHER IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA | LOS ANGELES WEDDING AND FAMILY PHOTOGRAPHER | ORANGE COUNTY WEDDING AND FAMILY PHOTOGRAPHER | INLAND EMPIRE WEDDING AND FAMILY PHOTOGRAPHER
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MOTHERHOOD UNDER CONSTRUCTION

4/17/2019

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It took me loosing my father to realize how out of whack my priorities were! Prior to him passing I was so caught up in the rat race of life and growing my business that I was struggling to be present for the people who mattered the most, my family. Sure my body was physically there for school pick ups, practices, dinner time, etc., but my mind was sadly someplace else. I was constantly wondering how I could connect with more clients, network, and build my social media following that I was half-assing everything else around me. It was mentally draining, I was short tempered, and felt disconnected with my children.
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"...was this the only road to success -having to put my family on the back burner to get ahead?" ​​
I know it sounds dramatic, but that's how awful it felt. On the outside it looked like we had it all together, but on the inside I was battling major mom guilt. I was not being the wife or mother they deserved, and my family was getting whatever scraps of energy I had left
​-which wasn't much!
"Didn't they understand I was doing this all for them!?!"
Unfortunately they didn't see it that way. They only saw the mom who was putting everyone's needs before theirs. It breaks my heart just thinking about it! These little humans didn't care about the extra objects we were able to afford with me working or the fun vacations we got to go on -they just wanted me to be present when I was with them. Kids are pretty simple creatures, it's adults that overcomplicate things. I'm totally guilty of this! We want so badly to give them the childhood we never had, but is that really what's best for them? This season of childhood is so brief and we only get one chance to raise them right. I had to learn to set boundaries, stop spreading myself so thin for others,  and prioritize so I can be present for the ones that matter the most -the ones that will be standing around my deathbed. Geez... sorry if that got real deep real fast, but that's what I recently experienced when we gathered around my Dad's bedside. He didn't care about anything else, all he wanted was his children and my mom to be with him.  

So here it is guys... the holy grail... the systems that helped me take charge of my life and get a grip on motherhood over the last few months! Get your notebooks out, pin this page,  however you want to save it because this is literally months worth of information crammed into one blog post! I plan to break this up into bite size pieces, but this is for you "goal getters" that want to get ahead! I would recommend taking action on one section at a time so you don't feel overwhelmed. Remember this is to save your sanity, not cause more stress :) If you're ready to lighten your load then allow me to introduce you to Jordan Page (blogger/youtuber), Allie Casazza (blogger/podcaster), and Charlene Johnson (all of the above). There's no way I could explain it any better than these ladies who created them, so I tried to make your life a bit easier by gathering and organizing the videos and podcasts that worked for me. For the record I get absolutely nothing for sharing this, only the pure satisfaction of knowing I did everything in my power to help a sista out :) That's it!
"It's worth spending the time to create more time in your life!" ​
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LIVE A PRESENT LIFE

This section helped me learn exactly how to unplug from the outside world, prioritize the things that mean the most to me, take action on being more present, and build boundaries to protect my precious time. It has gotten rid of the horrible mom guilt that most of us struggle with. Leave a comment below if you want to see my personal daily routines :) 
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  • PHONE SETTINGS FOR A PRESENT LIFE
  • CREATE A PEACEFUL HOME
  • CREATING EARLY MORNING ROUTINES
  • CREATING A EVENING ROUTINE
  • MOM GUILT
  • WORKING MOM GUILT​
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DECLUTTER YOUR HOME

Not just your home, but your mental space too! This one was definitely a favorite, you get to purge your life from things you no longer need and give to those who will have better use for it. I got my whole family on board and my boys surprisingly donated 3 large black garbage bags full of old clothes, shoes, and toys to children who need it more. It was a great lesson for them and it has definitely lightened our cleaning load with less junk to clean and organize!  
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  • AN UNCLUTTERED LIFE
  • THE BEGINNING TO DECLUTTERING
  • HARD THINGS TO DECLUTTER
  • DECLUTTERING WITH YOUR KIDS


LETS GET PRODUCTIVE

I thought I was already pretty organized with my long to-do lists and handy dandy calendar, but boy was I wrong!!! These systems are pretty amazing but that Block system is golden! Freakin Golden!!! If you don't watch any of these clips please just watch the block system! Trust me, you'll thank me later! I now have a set schedule that gives me freedom to spend more time with my kiddos (equals less mom guilt), squeeze in date nights, accept the season of life that we're in, while working at home. I even get "me" time to actually sit and read a book and even exercise 6 days a week! Say Whatttt!!!! Yeah, Who the heck am I!?!  Leave a comment below if you want to see my personal block system and cleaning routine!  
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  • BLOCK SYSTEM 
  • DIVIDE DUTIES
  • TO DO LISTS
  • SIMPLE LAUNDRY ROUTINE
  • CLEANING SYSTEMS 
  • HOW TO MEAL PLAN
  • PLANNING YOUR YEAR OUT IN ADVANCE 
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SIMPLE ​PARENTING TECHNIQUES

Parenting is tricky, we all have our own ideas of what good parenting looks like. I think I could speak for most of us all when I say we all want what's best for our children. We want to raise them to be confident self sufficient humans who can thrive in this crazy world -and it all starts at home! Now that we have less clutter in our house it's much easier to keep a clean house and the kids are doing most of the house work, umm come again... yes!!! my kids have learned how to clean the entire house from scrubbing the toilets to folding the laundry! I've had to suppress my OCD and accept that it won't be as good as mom, but the important thing is that they're learning these essential life skills. Their wives will thank me later hahah! 
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  • BE A BETTER PARENT
  • BEHAVIOR CHART
  • HOW TO GET YOUR KIDS TO STOP FIGHTING 
  • EASY CHORE SYSTEM FOR KIDS
  • POSITIVE WORDS FOR YOUR CHILDREN
  • CHORE SYSTEM FOR SUMMER BREAK
  • HOW TO RAISE UNPLUGGED KIDS
  • RAISING MINIMALISTIC KIDS​
  • WHAT EVERY PARENT NEEDS IN THEIR CAR 
  • LIFE HACKS FOR LITTLES
  • EASY KIDS SNACK AND LUNCH SYSTEM
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BUDGET FOR A FAMILY

Oh that word gives me anxiety and has caused plenty of arguments, but it's totally necessary, especially if you need to get out of debt, save for a new home, survive on one income, or just live a fun full life while preparing for the future! It's totally worth the time and headache to sit down and organize your bills, once you create your system it'll become second nature. We realized how much money we were wasting and cut out the things that were no longer important to us, which then allowed us to pay off bills quicker and start multiple savings accounts! Win Win! Now we can save money for trips, home improvements, hobbies, etc.! 
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  • SIMPLEST BUDGETING TIP EVER
  • 7 BANK ACCOUNTS EVERY FAMILY SHOULD HAVE


I hope ya'll find these tips as helpful as I did. I was in a very dark place when I began this self improvement journey and nothing helps with grief then focusing on what truly matters in life. It honestly feels like I got to press the restart button! The old ways were leaving me overwhelmed, stressed out and cranky, but over the last few months of applying these systems I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest! We're nowhere near perfect, and we're not trying to be! We just want to live a good full life and this feels right for us! Trust me these things are worth trying! If you love it, let me know! If you hate it, let me know too! Life is about sharing whats worked for you in hopes to help others, RIGHT!?! There's enough goodness to go around! ​Make sure to share this blog post with other mamas you love so you can help lighten their load! They'll love you for it!!! 
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    I'M JANELLE MARINA
    Wife, Mama Shark, + Photographer.

    Most days, you'll find me in mismatched socks and a top knot, working behind my computer with a smile on my face, listening to Zac Brown Band and R&B  
    --or, dancing in the kitchen with my 3 littles and hunka husband, seeing who could come up with the coolest dance moves. I'm a wedding photographer, West Elm lover, aspiring advocate for our buddies with special needs, and a Certified Dreamer since 1986. We live in a cozy city in Southern California and are always up for a good adventure. ​I enjoy telling stories with my camera, grubbing on spicy food, and solving the latest Dateline case.
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